Not too long ago, I had an exhibitionist beg me to show me a photo of himself inside of a watermelon. Well, this I just had to see! I had him give me a call and send me the photo while we were talking. I could not believe what I saw when I opened the photo! There he was, in all his glory, with his penis deep inside a watermelon! He had a huge grin on his face and that watermelon looked very juicy; I must say!

While in the grocery store today; I thought – well, if a watermelon works; why not a pumpkin? They are in season and easy to find! And not just pumpkins either; but gourds of all shapes and sizes! I even saw a gourd today that looked like an ass! Here are some easy to follow instructions – I want pictures!

How To Make A Pumpkin Lover:

Step 1: Measure Your Penis in length and in girth.

Step 2: Purchase a pumpkin/gourd. If you are well endowed; purchase a pumpkin that is going to accomodate your size. If you are in need of small penis humiliation; make sure you buy a tiny little gourd.

Step 3: (wait until you get home to continue!). Cut a hole in your pumpkin that is at least an inch in diameter wider than the girth of your fully erect penis.

Step 4: Take some lubricant/jelly and lube up your new pumpkin lover. Go ahead and use some of that lube on yourself, too. Get a nice, firm erection going.

Step 5: Consider some sweet talk with your new lover. Oh my, I love that shade of orange! You can even rim your new lover’s hole with your tongue to get him/her nice and ready 😉 You could draw a face on your pumpkin; with the hole as the mouth!

Step 6: Firmly grasp your new lover with both hands with his/her hole facing you. Now slide your firm penis inside of the pumpkin hole and feel those stringy membranes inside loosening up as you press forward.

Step 7: ‘Pump’kin away! Go to town! Add lubricant as needed.

Tip: Your pumpkin can last a long time – cover the hole with plastic wrap and you can preserve it for several days. If you choose to orgasm inside of the pumpkin; dispose of it afterwards.

Position Ideas: Your pumpkin lover will accomodate many positions! Prop it up on a table , hold it against the wall without using your hands, put it between two couch cusions!

Don’t forget to tell me about your new pumpkin lover! I’d love to hear about it! You can post a comment here on my blog, you can always call me for some Guided Masturbation and Kinky Phone Sex, we can indulge in a Sexy Texting Session, or you can email me at

For an Erotic Phone Sex Session with The Scarlet Mistress, call 800-601-6975
Must be 18+
Calls are $2.50 per minute, with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card